WASHINGTON, D.C. - Late last Thursday evening, it was leaked by an anonymous White House official that President Bush has already stolen the upcoming November election, and is hiding it somewhere in the White House.

The anonymous person stated, "I bet he's keeping it in his Bonanza safe under his desk in the Oval Office. I know he likes to hide his Twinkies and Trucker Stud magazines in there."

When questioned by reporters about the theft of yet another election, President Bush stated, "Terror."